So last night I watched the last half of American Gladiators which is possibly the greatest show on the face of the earth next to The Sarah Connor Chronicles (is that coming back or what?) And I saw something that made me cry tears of joy. A man with his leg amputated at the thigh was competeing against a guy with two legs.

I was stunned. Someone, somewhere (who had no soul) was walking the tightrope between this is media gold and we will be cancelled tonight. The safety word apparantly was, "inspirational." Layla Ali said that word so many times I felt like I was in Scientology brainwashing, I mean, Auditing session. That's the get out of jail free card: Inspirational. We're not far now, kiddies, from Stephen Hawkings in his chair panting and wheezing after splashing down in the pool at the end of the eliminator in stilted mechano grammar, "there are no excuses, if i can do it so can you, just get off your butt." Then Hulk Hogan waves his 24 inch pythons and the good Doctor not only gets out of his chair but breakdances to Electric Boogaloo. This is a sign that things are getting better. As long as I get my weekly dose of Crush and Mar, I mean Wolf... it's all good. Whatever soulless mutant breathed life into this human rights attrocity; thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

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Holy Shit it is Mar!!!

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